I want to feel the sky

I want to feel the sky. But this hut is coming with me, whereever I go. Not able to come out of this hut of thoughts, which is constricting me, not allowing me to feel the sky, to be open.

Meditation would help. But meditation as a daily discipline  is a hard work.
But yes.....it will pay rich dividends.

kaam-work?

Interesting.
The word kaam in hindi means "work"
and it also means "desire"
It is "desire" for something which makes us "work"

Prayer

Prayer to someone, brings in us without we realising, the characteristics of the entity we are praying to.
I have started praying to sun recently and I am loving it. Asking him for discipline, to burn away my negativities, my laziness. He is such a good friend, with whom I love talking to.
The thing I don't understand is why some people while praying to sun, offer water?

No thoughts

Being in the present....
Being a witness to the thoughts...
Won't this stop our thinking
How can this help someone think and work in a job?

This difference in tamasic state (unaware and nothing affecting) and satwic state (very aware but nothing affecting) is very subtle?

A hut under the sky?

:)
Wondering what is this "hut under the sky"?
Well, created this blog page today and when I was prompted to give a name to this blog page, I was thinking why at all was I opening a blogpage.
........Answer I gave to myself was.....to put down my thoughts........
Why putting down my thoughts?
........bcos it helps me bring clarity in my thoughts...........else the clutter in thoughts make me feel insecure.
Aha.....so is it the clear thoughts which are making me feel secure?
Hmmm.....so I am making a secure hut around myself with these thoughts.

Soon these thoughts will go and I will pick up new thoughts from under the sky and make a new secure hut for myself

God as wish fulfiller

I was introduced to this concept of God by my parents, when I was small, as someone who would protect me. I was a fortunate child who was given beautiful parents who would protect me and take care of me. Hence as a child, the need to pray to God for protection never crossed my mind. I felt good praying, so prayed to this unknown entity-GOD.

During my university times, we had a quantum mechanics quiz scheduled one day. I wasn't prepared. There was this beautiful idol behind our university canteen, where I ran to request this God to postpone the exam by one day. And yes! The exam was postponed. My faith strengthened.

Then through the years, reading and knowing about how God would help the devotees, how He would cure diseases, how He would get jobs, how He would help in the passing of exams and .....even how He could feed us with our favourite food ..........the list of God's help to his devotees was endless.

Slowly my faith in God as a real entity started getting strenghtened.

When life took me to Jamshedpur, in the bookstalls outside temples, I would see vrat kathas.....you pray to this God for so many weeks with this  procedure and your wish would be fulfilled.

This was the time my sister who was very healthy and full of life, suddenly developed some health problem and was deteriorating. I had only one thing in my heart- God will help. He will cure. I got the vrat books and did the vratas.
Day and night, my prayer to God was to cure her.
All my attempts failed. My mother called me one day to tell that my little sister is no more.

Where is God?
Does He listen?

People said while consoling me-God knows what is best.
How do they know?
People said- God cannot be bargained.
People said-God is not our wish fulfilling tree.

Yes. somewhere deep within me, I could relate to all these statements, but why then was God introduced as wish fulfiller? When we read the 108 names of God, why do we address him as "remover of diseases", "forgiver of sins"? Why are these false vrat books being written and sold? Why is He-The God, allowing all this? If we cannot go to Him in times of distress, then whom can we go to?
Questions flooded me.

What is the relation one should have with God? I am still pondering.
People say you should love God without any expectation. People say God is without form.....He can take any form He wills, He is energy......
I understand the "without expectation part" but I don't understand how can you love some unknown entity.

Perhaps, when "I" is there, I cannot have a relation.
I wonder how this "I" would go to show me what is the relation.
Or is there no relation since there are no two entities?

Is it selfless Love, which will remove my "I"?
Is it selfless Love, which is called God?

I don't know, since I haven't yet experienced.
But one thing I know for sure now. God is not "wish fulfiller".